He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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