How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
