Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
