Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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