I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
