Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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