My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
