I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
