OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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