i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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