You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
