I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
