im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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