Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
