Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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