I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize