do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
