he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
