Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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