belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
