You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
