Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You did what with his pubic hair?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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