im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
