im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
