I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
