eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize