if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
