In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
