Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize