The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
