i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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