I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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