Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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