There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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