We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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