You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
