Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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