I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize