i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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