nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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