Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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