with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
