i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its about making memories worth repressing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
