apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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