You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
