we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
