handjob tips. give me some.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
