People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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