dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want to make out with him forever
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
