Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
