okay pat passed out under dana's car
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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