they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
