I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
