So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize