i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your tits are I can't wait for
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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